When it comes to Batman action figures, one glaring characteristic endures no matter the originating country. Batman is never smiling. Never ever. Not even a half grin. He always has a solemn, thought-provoking look on his face. Looking for a cheery Batman head sculpt is like trying to find a picture of Abraham Lincoln smiling.
BASA Batman from Peru seems to be the culmination of all that unhappiness. His austerity and furrowed brow hints at a man with no joy. The staff here at WorldMEGO sat around one night on a conference call and pondered Heath Ledger’s question. What follows is an artist’s rendition of that conversation:
Heath Ledger’s Joker posed a pertinent question: “Why so serious, Batman?” You’re a billionaire. You drive a cool car. Women love you. You even have a butler to see to your every need. Have to get through traffic in a hurry? Take the Batmobile. Can’t get there by land? Take the Batboat. Can’t get there by sea? Well, there’s always the Batcopter. Want to feel the wind in your face? Fire up the Batcycle. You could even swoop in by Batcape. But, why bother? The Batplane would be much faster.
Is it time to get to work? Use the Batpole! Need to make a quick phone call, just use the Batphone! How about some Monday Night Football on the Batmonitor?! Who knows? You could probably even Facebook on the Batcomputer. And surely the Batcave could be used for more than just business. C’mon guy, you’re living every man’s dream!
Remember when Jack Nicholson’s Joker asked, “Where do you get all those cool toys?” Surely they’d make you smile. Why take the stairs when you have a grappling hook? Need to make a quick getaway? Drop a few smoke bombs and zip out. You don’t have a simple boomerang, you have a Batarang. Is there any gadget you couldn’t pull from that utility belt? Let’s face it, man, you’re also living every kid’s dream.
Oh, and let’s not forget that suit. Is there anything cooler than the flourish of a cape? Is there anything more ominous than the specter of a bat? What wrestling federation wouldn’t make you their superstar?! You’re all mask’d and emblem’d and everything!
But oh no, it’s just not enough. You still have the grumbling cynicisms of a man who can’t find his way in the world. There is no laughter in your life. Oh, you say you’ve got some past tragedy? Well, haven’t we all? Get a clue, Batman. If indeed you are the World’s Greatest Detective, it’s time for you to rediscover the BIFF! the BANG! and the POW! that keeps you going. Enjoy all those things in your life. Take your money and buy a condo in Aruba. Settle down with some nice Batchica and have some Batkids. Maybe buy a Batdog or two. Life is too short. Does Cesar Romero’s Joker need to stop by and give you a hand with his joy buzzer?